From top to bottom....

It's kinda amazing, just how fast you can go from the top to the bottom, not missing hitting a peg in between. I always seem to go from friends, to feelings, to best friend. I can't ever seem to fit in between there. What is it about me that makes me such a good friend, and not even coming close to relationship material? I am slightly aggravated that I have let myself fall into this again. Not that I haven't been here before but just that I am stuck here now. I will always be here. Once the feelings are here I know that I am stuck. It seems that I can't ever get past this. I like to be the one that people can turn to but does it have to hurt this much when I realize that I can't turn to someone. I know that I have the friends that I will love forever, and I could call any one of them and if I really needed them to they would fly out here in a heart beat, or they would let me come over and stay with them. I just can't stand the fact that I can't find someone more than just a friend. Maybe I just come on too strong. Maybe I am too forward. Maybe I am too blunt. Maybe I am too honest. Maybe I am too open. Maybe it's everything about me.... it's just me top to bottom.

I talked to Shawn.....