I complain instead of fixing things.
Robert will tell you, it takes A LOT to get to me, and when something does I obsess. Well, things have gotten to me for the last two weeks.
I realized that I found ME at church.
When I first started coming to the church after we were married, no one really talked to me, I think it was because I was just another of the many Provost's at the church. I was fine with that, anyone that knows me knows I don't like alot of attention. Over the course of the next few months, it was like EVERY sunday I made it to church, people were introducing themselves to me, even when I know for a fact that I knew these people.... they introduced themselves to me weeks before. I was hurt, but I knew that I wasn't really making an effort to get my name and face out there. I am sure that if you ask people even now, they will not be able to pick me out of a line-up. Again, I am fine with this, I don't like people making a big fuss over me.
I was invited to a couple's house through a mutual friend and hung out, I felt like I was so different because (i assumed) they were so straight laced, I kind didn't even want to give them a chance. I have hung out with them a few times, but I have never really made an effort to get to know them. So I went to church one day, a few weeks ago, and I decided that I would no longer be just a loner with only 4 real friends in this ward. I made an attempt to start reaching out and being with people. I had a few different couples over for dinner a few times, and we had a blast every time. I have randomly talked to the couples and I feel like I made some good connections. That is cool and all, BUT even when I have my cake, I want to eat it too, there is a couple that I feel like won't even give us a chance to get to know us. I have made a few attempts to get to know them, even had them over for dinner but now I feel like they don't want to really even talk to us. I wave and smiled at church, got no response, texted a few times, got no response, even stalked them a little on facebook, STILL no response. I don't know why I can't accept not being accepted or given a chance. Then it hit me... she is ME! I realized that the wife of the other couple I was previously talking about has reached out to me, and I have shut her down. Like I said I haven't even made an effort to get to know her or her husband. Today is the day, I swallow my pride and try...
I will try to get over my pride...
I will try to find similarities...
I will try to be more Christ like...
I will try to make more friends.
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