It hasn't been 7 months for nothing, the thing is, life hasn't been so hard the past 6 months. It has bee the remaining month that has been hard. Life seems like it is at a turning point for me and I don't know if it is turning for the better. Both cars are going to crap, well one is already there since I wrecked it, work is not satisfying, I feel like I am left out by my friends and school is not living up to my expectations either. I haven't been able to go to church much recently and I feel like I am letting my family down just by existing and the thought of not existing hurts too much to think about. I might not be able to go to Texas for Christmas and I don't know how to explain it to my family, money is tight, like really really tight. We are barely making ends meet.
I love my husband he is the reason I am able to get out of bed in the morning and go on with my day. Without him I think I would not be able to function, he is my foundation.
The shake in my hands has gotten worse with the stress and I can't wait to get pregnant. It's sad to say but I don't think I will ever get pregnant. Not that I am trying to complain or look for pity from somewhere I genuinely think there is something wrong with me and i won't be able to conceive. The doctor says, lose 50 pounds and we will try hormone therapy, no doctor has ever told me to lose weight. I know that I am larger but I have never truly had issues with my body until then. Now I look in the mirror and all I think is 50 pounds.... 50 pounds.... 50 pounds. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost a single pound, I am scared of trying, what if I can't, what if losing the weight makes me different. I am just so tired all of the time. I want to rest and not hurt. I hurt so much, my shoulders and back and feet are always in pain.
Life has just been hard especially these last 2 weeks.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A Rock and Hard Place...
So I feel like life is getting harder, it seems like I am seriously being put between a rock and a hard place. I want to go see my family in Texas, I dream about it and think about it with every fiber of my being. Robert has finally conceded to going with me, that was a WHOLE different story... but I digress, and now that I am ready the money is just not here. My sister wants to do a baby shower in May in Texas, I can't afford to go. They said my mom would buy me a ticket, anyone that knows me knows that I HATE GIFTS! I especially hate the ones that make me feel like I am indebted to them. I don't want people to feel obligated to buy me gifts. If someone wants to just get me something small that they saw and it reminded them of me, I am fine with that, but Christmas and Birthday's make me EXCEEDINGLY uncomfortable. Anyways, they said my mom would buy me a ticket, Wanda said she wants me to come because she has news, obviously I am not high enough on her totem pole to inform immediately of important news, I have to wait until she is ready. Yet I am sure all the rest of my family knows. I feel like these 2000 miles is really 200,000 miles just because there is more than just a spatial gap, there is an emotional gap, that destroys me!
I miss my family so much it just seems like money is ALWAYS tight. I think that in October if we haven't been to see my family yet, we are most definitely going to Texas instead of Orlando. I feel like that going to Texas is WAY more important than going to a stupid theme park where I can't do anything except walk around and spend money. Even if we did end up going to Orlando I think I would be miserable the whole time... but does that matter to his family!?! NO! All that matters is that his side of the family is having fun, it's just something else that makes me feel like I don't belong. Every single person in his family knows that I get motion sick... yet, they still decided to go to an amusement park for the "family reunion"
I know that this blog post is extremely negative, it just seems like I am in a bad place tonight. I want to just sleep... I want to sleep long and hard and not go to church tomorrow. That is another thing that is bothering me... why don't I have a calling in church!?! Every other person in the church has a calling, EXCEPT me, it has been almost a year... Oh well, that is enough complaining to a white screen that no one will read.
I miss my family so much it just seems like money is ALWAYS tight. I think that in October if we haven't been to see my family yet, we are most definitely going to Texas instead of Orlando. I feel like that going to Texas is WAY more important than going to a stupid theme park where I can't do anything except walk around and spend money. Even if we did end up going to Orlando I think I would be miserable the whole time... but does that matter to his family!?! NO! All that matters is that his side of the family is having fun, it's just something else that makes me feel like I don't belong. Every single person in his family knows that I get motion sick... yet, they still decided to go to an amusement park for the "family reunion"
I know that this blog post is extremely negative, it just seems like I am in a bad place tonight. I want to just sleep... I want to sleep long and hard and not go to church tomorrow. That is another thing that is bothering me... why don't I have a calling in church!?! Every other person in the church has a calling, EXCEPT me, it has been almost a year... Oh well, that is enough complaining to a white screen that no one will read.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thirty day Challenge.... Day... Ugh... does it even matter
So the thirty day challenge was just that, a challenge, and I failed it, as I expected I would. I haven't been keeping up with much recently, I feel like life is getting harder and harder to get things done. I got a job YAY but it seems like I am getting limited hours, so I think I have to find a second job.
I failed at the thirdy day challenge in a BIG way. Seriously though. I didn't even make it halfway through. Kind of an euphamism for my life. I usually give up half wayt hrough for the things that don't matter as much to me. There are things that do matter to me that i know I will never give up on....
1) My family, as much as I have malice towards certain people in my family, I will never give up on them. Even when every inch of my being is telling me to just quit thinking about them and let it go, I can't.... most people should know right now that I am talking about my dad. My sisters, oh gosh, what do I say about them, they are my whole world. We NEVER talk, well mary adn I do sometimes, and Wanda and I have sporadic, short, yet meaningful conversations.... but I love them more than life itself... I love them more than chocolate milk! My mom, SHE IS A GODDESS! She is the epitomy or perfection, ok maybe not that perfect but to me she is my everything. She and I probably talk the least, but I swear she is telepathic, she can always call right at the right moment, it's her mom power.
2) My husband, Robert means more to me than I can ever explain. I will never be able to put into straight words what he means to me and to my life. I joked with him, when we first started dating, I had NOOOOOO intention of ever getting serious with him, I was just making friends. Then BOOM a year later we are married. Really funny thing, is that most of his family thought we were pregnant and that's why we wanted a speedy wedding. HAH! I still wonder how many of them really thought we were active!?! SOOO, between, my husband and my mom and sisters technically my heart should explode. Yet, there is still a little room for a kid in my life.
3) Myself, as much as I think about it and as much as I know I should sometimes quit trying stuff. I know that just giving up will get to me. I know that I am amazing and super duper smart and that I can do so much, but sometimes I have other things on my plate. Like going to school, right now it's a goo after thought and I think that I could do it one day, it just seems like I always have too much going on to even think about that as a feasible option. I need to just set it in stone and DO IT! But what do I go to school for...
4) My friends, you know who you are, and most of you don't even read my blogs, funny thing is I know that most of you won't read my blogs. But there are a select few that I would lay my life on the line for... seriously, once I reach that point of trust, it never goes away. One person that I love above all other friends is Amanda, if she called em tomorrow and said she really needed me to come back to Texas, I would be there in an instant. She knows that she can ask anything of me and it will be taken care of. She is a sister to me. My other friends might have to do a hairs worth of convincing to get me to come back at the drop of a hat! ;) I love my friends, they are what keep me sane and grounded.
I need to add one more thing to this list, but it's me having faith to take care of it.... my weight... I found out on Sunday, I have gained 15 POUNDS since I lost my job. Seriously, I was already overweight but now there is another 15 POUNDS! I need to seriously buckle down and start trying to lose... I know I am beautiful, I still get hit on by guys and stuff, but still... I never pictured in my mental image of me as fat, now with these 15 pounds, my mental image is HUGE! GEEZE... 15 POUNDS! So, I don't want to start a weight loss blog, but I am going to start a challenge, anyone that reads this and sees me eating unhealthy food, STOP ME! Remind me of my 15 POUNDS, and remind me that I need to lose weight. Don't stop me from eating just stop me from eating crap that will just make me gain weight again.
I failed at the thirdy day challenge in a BIG way. Seriously though. I didn't even make it halfway through. Kind of an euphamism for my life. I usually give up half wayt hrough for the things that don't matter as much to me. There are things that do matter to me that i know I will never give up on....
1) My family, as much as I have malice towards certain people in my family, I will never give up on them. Even when every inch of my being is telling me to just quit thinking about them and let it go, I can't.... most people should know right now that I am talking about my dad. My sisters, oh gosh, what do I say about them, they are my whole world. We NEVER talk, well mary adn I do sometimes, and Wanda and I have sporadic, short, yet meaningful conversations.... but I love them more than life itself... I love them more than chocolate milk! My mom, SHE IS A GODDESS! She is the epitomy or perfection, ok maybe not that perfect but to me she is my everything. She and I probably talk the least, but I swear she is telepathic, she can always call right at the right moment, it's her mom power.
2) My husband, Robert means more to me than I can ever explain. I will never be able to put into straight words what he means to me and to my life. I joked with him, when we first started dating, I had NOOOOOO intention of ever getting serious with him, I was just making friends. Then BOOM a year later we are married. Really funny thing, is that most of his family thought we were pregnant and that's why we wanted a speedy wedding. HAH! I still wonder how many of them really thought we were active!?! SOOO, between, my husband and my mom and sisters technically my heart should explode. Yet, there is still a little room for a kid in my life.
3) Myself, as much as I think about it and as much as I know I should sometimes quit trying stuff. I know that just giving up will get to me. I know that I am amazing and super duper smart and that I can do so much, but sometimes I have other things on my plate. Like going to school, right now it's a goo after thought and I think that I could do it one day, it just seems like I always have too much going on to even think about that as a feasible option. I need to just set it in stone and DO IT! But what do I go to school for...
4) My friends, you know who you are, and most of you don't even read my blogs, funny thing is I know that most of you won't read my blogs. But there are a select few that I would lay my life on the line for... seriously, once I reach that point of trust, it never goes away. One person that I love above all other friends is Amanda, if she called em tomorrow and said she really needed me to come back to Texas, I would be there in an instant. She knows that she can ask anything of me and it will be taken care of. She is a sister to me. My other friends might have to do a hairs worth of convincing to get me to come back at the drop of a hat! ;) I love my friends, they are what keep me sane and grounded.
I need to add one more thing to this list, but it's me having faith to take care of it.... my weight... I found out on Sunday, I have gained 15 POUNDS since I lost my job. Seriously, I was already overweight but now there is another 15 POUNDS! I need to seriously buckle down and start trying to lose... I know I am beautiful, I still get hit on by guys and stuff, but still... I never pictured in my mental image of me as fat, now with these 15 pounds, my mental image is HUGE! GEEZE... 15 POUNDS! So, I don't want to start a weight loss blog, but I am going to start a challenge, anyone that reads this and sees me eating unhealthy food, STOP ME! Remind me of my 15 POUNDS, and remind me that I need to lose weight. Don't stop me from eating just stop me from eating crap that will just make me gain weight again.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 10: Songs that you listen to in different moods...
I can say that i listen to TONS of music. I listen to music at any chance, seriously though. I love heavy beats... If I had to break it down by moods I couldn't even name songs there would be so many so I can just name types.
Sad: I listen to usually slower music, songs where the beat will mellow me out, generally softer rock where the melodies can take my mood along different paths: Incubus is a good one.
Mad: I listen to either the same kind of music as sad, unless it is a Deep anger, then I listen to HEAVY rock, the kind of rock that usually irritates me. if I had to pick a good reference, I would say: Distillers or As I Lay Dying.
Happy: I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE my happy music. Oh goodness the thought alone makes me happy. I love HUGE heavy beats, with a good drumma drumm drumm that I can shake my booty too, with lyrics that make me think about how FLY I am, and a rythm that shakes me to the core... I can't even think of a single general reference, Um, how about Black Eyed Peas... ooh yeah that's a good one.
Calm: I like soft but heavy beats where I can almost kinda trance out and not think about it anymore, I know the perfect reference... Imogen heap... Hide and seek is the most amazing thing that I know, it makes me smile and think back, it puts me into a calmer mood just thinking about it.
Nostalgic: Country, good ole country makes me happy, I listen to the older country that makes me think about all my time back home and it makes me think about growing up, crountry from the 90's reminds me of my mom waking us up, and I would go crawl into her bed while she showered and I would talk to her while she got ready, and I would just watch her and listen to her radio as it played country music, every morning it was 100.3 KILT. She woke up at 6 to the national anthem every morning. I don't know if she still does but it still makes me happy. Wynona, Reba, George, Clint.... all the good ones.
In Love: This is the best, this is the one that I love hte most, these are the ones that make me the happiest, these are the ones that make me think of Robert. These are the slow smooth rythms, the cool soft beats, the wild bass lines, and the ones that make me feel generally sexy... is that weird to say. lol. Let's say some Paula Cole...
Then there are all the moods inbetween, I can listen to heavy Rap to heavy metal, Classical instruments, to Classic Rock, Country to Foreign, I love and appreciate ALL music... any and all music.
I love the arts!!
Sad: I listen to usually slower music, songs where the beat will mellow me out, generally softer rock where the melodies can take my mood along different paths: Incubus is a good one.
Mad: I listen to either the same kind of music as sad, unless it is a Deep anger, then I listen to HEAVY rock, the kind of rock that usually irritates me. if I had to pick a good reference, I would say: Distillers or As I Lay Dying.
Happy: I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE my happy music. Oh goodness the thought alone makes me happy. I love HUGE heavy beats, with a good drumma drumm drumm that I can shake my booty too, with lyrics that make me think about how FLY I am, and a rythm that shakes me to the core... I can't even think of a single general reference, Um, how about Black Eyed Peas... ooh yeah that's a good one.
Calm: I like soft but heavy beats where I can almost kinda trance out and not think about it anymore, I know the perfect reference... Imogen heap... Hide and seek is the most amazing thing that I know, it makes me smile and think back, it puts me into a calmer mood just thinking about it.
Nostalgic: Country, good ole country makes me happy, I listen to the older country that makes me think about all my time back home and it makes me think about growing up, crountry from the 90's reminds me of my mom waking us up, and I would go crawl into her bed while she showered and I would talk to her while she got ready, and I would just watch her and listen to her radio as it played country music, every morning it was 100.3 KILT. She woke up at 6 to the national anthem every morning. I don't know if she still does but it still makes me happy. Wynona, Reba, George, Clint.... all the good ones.
In Love: This is the best, this is the one that I love hte most, these are the ones that make me the happiest, these are the ones that make me think of Robert. These are the slow smooth rythms, the cool soft beats, the wild bass lines, and the ones that make me feel generally sexy... is that weird to say. lol. Let's say some Paula Cole...
Then there are all the moods inbetween, I can listen to heavy Rap to heavy metal, Classical instruments, to Classic Rock, Country to Foreign, I love and appreciate ALL music... any and all music.
I love the arts!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day 9: Something I'm proud of in the last few days...
Um, I woke up this morning?
I know it sounds silly but there is nothing that I have done to make me proud in the last few days, there is nothing special that has been done at all.
Every day of the last few weeks has been spent doing the same dang thing... it's been wake up, get of Facebook, piddle around, walk the dog, feed the dog, pet the dog, eat something, think about dinner, get stuff out for dinner, and then make dinner. There have been very few variances, I went to the FHC library one day, I went to the real library one day, I sat around and watched movies one day, but nothing else.
I have been puttin in applications everywhere, it seems like someone would have called me back by now. I know that as soon as I get a job and become unavailable everyone is going to start calling me. Until then I just get to sit here waiting for that day. It's hard not having a job, I enjoy spending more time with my doggy, but dogs sleep for 16 hrs a day, he's a bum I bet he sleeps for 20! I guess I am proud that I haven't killed the cat, everyone knows I have had issues with her, well Robert more so than I have recently, but if my husband has a problem, I have a problem. So the cat... is enemy number 1! If I could just get her to stop whining in the morning and waking me up, or walking on us at all hours of the night. She's sharp as a tack. SERIOUSLY! She knows that Robert feeds her, she knows that he feeds her at a certain time in his morning, so when that time comes, even if it is a Saturday or Sunday she will come in and he will have to get up and feed her. SHE SUCKS! Then I feel bad because Robert will have trouble sleeping after that.
She's evil....
I haven't been proud of much recently, I'm proud of my husband, there have many days recently where he has been working overtime, A) cause we need the extra money and B) because his normal helper is out sick for the next 6 months and possibly longer :(
I guess it's better to say, that I have been proud of things, I just haven't been proud of myself, I'm in a funk and nothing seems good right now. I'm thinking it's a minor depression because I am always tired, and all I do is munch when I am awake. I know what you're thinking, and no I am not pregnant, and even if I was, it would be a few months before those things would hit me.
Wait, I am proud, I am proud of my sister, she is going through so much more than I am, and she's pregnant, and she is still positive, I am proud of her because a lesser person would be in a deep depression and she is making the best of everything. I know that they will come out on top and I can't wait for little Mary Noel or the boy name she told me about from her husband's side of the family... whatever that is... I just can't wait for another kid in the family. I'm proud of my other sister, she was down and out for awhile, and now she has a good job, she's in school, and she has a great guy. Her life is looking really up. I am so proud of her for overcoming all of her obstacles and still being herself. My sisters make me happy all the time just thinking about them. Then there's my mom, I'm proud of her most of all, she doesn't whine when she doesn't hear from her daughters for a month, she is all trusting and all knowing. It seems that she knows just when to call, and when she does call she knows just what to say to help us. I am proud of my mom for being the strongest person I will ever know. My sisters and I have done some pretty messed up stuff in our day... yet she is still there and she still loves us. I know she will never read this but I love her most of all....
I miss my family.
I know it sounds silly but there is nothing that I have done to make me proud in the last few days, there is nothing special that has been done at all.
Every day of the last few weeks has been spent doing the same dang thing... it's been wake up, get of Facebook, piddle around, walk the dog, feed the dog, pet the dog, eat something, think about dinner, get stuff out for dinner, and then make dinner. There have been very few variances, I went to the FHC library one day, I went to the real library one day, I sat around and watched movies one day, but nothing else.
I have been puttin in applications everywhere, it seems like someone would have called me back by now. I know that as soon as I get a job and become unavailable everyone is going to start calling me. Until then I just get to sit here waiting for that day. It's hard not having a job, I enjoy spending more time with my doggy, but dogs sleep for 16 hrs a day, he's a bum I bet he sleeps for 20! I guess I am proud that I haven't killed the cat, everyone knows I have had issues with her, well Robert more so than I have recently, but if my husband has a problem, I have a problem. So the cat... is enemy number 1! If I could just get her to stop whining in the morning and waking me up, or walking on us at all hours of the night. She's sharp as a tack. SERIOUSLY! She knows that Robert feeds her, she knows that he feeds her at a certain time in his morning, so when that time comes, even if it is a Saturday or Sunday she will come in and he will have to get up and feed her. SHE SUCKS! Then I feel bad because Robert will have trouble sleeping after that.
She's evil....
I haven't been proud of much recently, I'm proud of my husband, there have many days recently where he has been working overtime, A) cause we need the extra money and B) because his normal helper is out sick for the next 6 months and possibly longer :(
I guess it's better to say, that I have been proud of things, I just haven't been proud of myself, I'm in a funk and nothing seems good right now. I'm thinking it's a minor depression because I am always tired, and all I do is munch when I am awake. I know what you're thinking, and no I am not pregnant, and even if I was, it would be a few months before those things would hit me.
Wait, I am proud, I am proud of my sister, she is going through so much more than I am, and she's pregnant, and she is still positive, I am proud of her because a lesser person would be in a deep depression and she is making the best of everything. I know that they will come out on top and I can't wait for little Mary Noel or the boy name she told me about from her husband's side of the family... whatever that is... I just can't wait for another kid in the family. I'm proud of my other sister, she was down and out for awhile, and now she has a good job, she's in school, and she has a great guy. Her life is looking really up. I am so proud of her for overcoming all of her obstacles and still being herself. My sisters make me happy all the time just thinking about them. Then there's my mom, I'm proud of her most of all, she doesn't whine when she doesn't hear from her daughters for a month, she is all trusting and all knowing. It seems that she knows just when to call, and when she does call she knows just what to say to help us. I am proud of my mom for being the strongest person I will ever know. My sisters and I have done some pretty messed up stuff in our day... yet she is still there and she still loves us. I know she will never read this but I love her most of all....
I miss my family.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why
Goals... I don't really make those, I hope to just make it out alive and in love. If I had to make some up, they would border on:
1. Find a SUPER cool present for my hubsters, his birthday is on the 15th, I know that's only 6 days to find one... ugh... I am so lost on this topic, I don't even know where to start with the man that gets whatever he wants. Any suggestions!?!
2.Use my valentine's day gift even if it kills me, story time, Robert told me he got me a present already, and I didn't believe him, well he toldme it was hidden at the house, so calling his bluff, I told him I found it, I was smart I waited 2 days before I told him. Apparently he believed me and now he just left it out in the open for me to find. I feel ABSOLUTELY terrible, because he knows I like surprises and I feel like I let him down... SOOO now I have to use it NO MATTER WHAT!
3. Lose some weight using my valentine's day gift, which is Zumba FItness for the Kinect, Again HONEY I'M SORRY FOR BLUFFING YOU! Apparently I am a better liar than I thought! ARGH! (this just increases the pressure for an amazing gift for his birthday! :( )
4.Find Florence Obedience, I know this might not make sense to some, but I have been doing a lot of genealogy work and on my mom's side we have lines that go back to the 1100's on my dad's side, it stops at my great grandparents on my papa's side, and it goes for a bit on my grandma's but I need to find Florence Obedience, I already found my greatgrandfather I am just delving into wether the one I Found is the right one, I have to say though that the evidence is pointing to me being correct.
5.FIND A JOB! I kinda like being out of work, sorta... I don't like not having stuff to do, and this blog really only supplements like 20 minutes of my time so I have another 16 hours to fill, normally I do well tailing Robert and fishing for how his day was and that's my evening, so there takes off about 6 hours.. so for 10 hours I have to entertain myself, NOT COOL! I don't do well with that, I am not as interesting as some of you think, in fact, one day I spent 6 of those hours on facebook... again NOT COOL! I don't know how I did it, I was probably facebook stalking YOU! That makes you obviously more interesting than I am .
6.Complete this challenge, I just hope that I don't lose interest in it, some of the questions are kinda cool, other's not so much, but hey they work and they get you thinking. So.... Is 6 enough, I could think of some really short term goals.
7. Shower
8.Cook dinner at some point
9.Visit with Tina (maybe if she's not busy already)
10. Make invitations for Tina's baby shower.... Argh... gotta go get paper!
Do the last 4 count? Oh well...
1. Find a SUPER cool present for my hubsters, his birthday is on the 15th, I know that's only 6 days to find one... ugh... I am so lost on this topic, I don't even know where to start with the man that gets whatever he wants. Any suggestions!?!
2.Use my valentine's day gift even if it kills me, story time, Robert told me he got me a present already, and I didn't believe him, well he toldme it was hidden at the house, so calling his bluff, I told him I found it, I was smart I waited 2 days before I told him. Apparently he believed me and now he just left it out in the open for me to find. I feel ABSOLUTELY terrible, because he knows I like surprises and I feel like I let him down... SOOO now I have to use it NO MATTER WHAT!
3. Lose some weight using my valentine's day gift, which is Zumba FItness for the Kinect, Again HONEY I'M SORRY FOR BLUFFING YOU! Apparently I am a better liar than I thought! ARGH! (this just increases the pressure for an amazing gift for his birthday! :( )
4.Find Florence Obedience, I know this might not make sense to some, but I have been doing a lot of genealogy work and on my mom's side we have lines that go back to the 1100's on my dad's side, it stops at my great grandparents on my papa's side, and it goes for a bit on my grandma's but I need to find Florence Obedience, I already found my greatgrandfather I am just delving into wether the one I Found is the right one, I have to say though that the evidence is pointing to me being correct.
5.FIND A JOB! I kinda like being out of work, sorta... I don't like not having stuff to do, and this blog really only supplements like 20 minutes of my time so I have another 16 hours to fill, normally I do well tailing Robert and fishing for how his day was and that's my evening, so there takes off about 6 hours.. so for 10 hours I have to entertain myself, NOT COOL! I don't do well with that, I am not as interesting as some of you think, in fact, one day I spent 6 of those hours on facebook... again NOT COOL! I don't know how I did it, I was probably facebook stalking YOU! That makes you obviously more interesting than I am .
6.Complete this challenge, I just hope that I don't lose interest in it, some of the questions are kinda cool, other's not so much, but hey they work and they get you thinking. So.... Is 6 enough, I could think of some really short term goals.
7. Shower
8.Cook dinner at some point
9.Visit with Tina (maybe if she's not busy already)
10. Make invitations for Tina's baby shower.... Argh... gotta go get paper!
Do the last 4 count? Oh well...
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 7: a picture of someone or something that has the biggest impact on you...
I think you guys are getting the hint that I don't have just one... there is always more than just one with everything I do. So, this is the easiest solution..
Then this brings to mind a poem, I read A LOT in high school... this was a regular, I printed it and would use it as a bookmark and when I got tired of reading I would read this then go back to reading...
Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
This poem is called Alone, by Maya Angelou, I discovered her in 6th grade and she was a regular addition to my reading since then. I love her work and some make my cry and some make me laugh and some make me change my life around.
I liked how they put faith first on the plaque, that is my life, when I finally put the Lord first, and let him lead instead of trying to be one step ahead, there was a release of burden. Instead of wanting change now and wanting everything now, I learned that everything comes with time. I was in a REALLY bad place in my life when I came to South Carolina, nobody may have known it but I was so depressed... life wasn't fun or even worth it anymore... I just coasted day to day not caring if I would make it to the next. Then I came here, and I met some friends of my sisters, and once I finally listened to what they were saying, really listened... it changed my life. I became genuinely happy, and I enjoy waking up every day now, life just seems better.
Then this brings to mind a poem, I read A LOT in high school... this was a regular, I printed it and would use it as a bookmark and when I got tired of reading I would read this then go back to reading...
Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
This poem is called Alone, by Maya Angelou, I discovered her in 6th grade and she was a regular addition to my reading since then. I love her work and some make my cry and some make me laugh and some make me change my life around.
I liked how they put faith first on the plaque, that is my life, when I finally put the Lord first, and let him lead instead of trying to be one step ahead, there was a release of burden. Instead of wanting change now and wanting everything now, I learned that everything comes with time. I was in a REALLY bad place in my life when I came to South Carolina, nobody may have known it but I was so depressed... life wasn't fun or even worth it anymore... I just coasted day to day not caring if I would make it to the next. Then I came here, and I met some friends of my sisters, and once I finally listened to what they were saying, really listened... it changed my life. I became genuinely happy, and I enjoy waking up every day now, life just seems better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
